Pet bereavement and disenfranchised grief
When a beloved pet dies, the grief that follows can be profound. For many, a pet is more than an animal, they are a companion, confidant, family member. They are a source of unconditional love, routine, emotional support and, in some circumstance, a practical helper. This loss disrupts daily life, leaving emptiness, guilt, sadness, and sometimes doubts about euthanasia decisions.This kind of grief can be disenfranchised grief, the kind of grief that is real, but not always socially recognized, supported, or ritualized.
Significance
Research shows that the human–animal bond can be as emotionally meaningful as many human relationships. Grief over pets can produce sadness, rumination, appetite or sleep changes, and depressive symptoms (Packman et al., 2014). Rituals such as creating photo albums, holding ceremonies, or writing tributes provide validation and have been
demonstrated to reduce distress (Cordaro, 2012). Importantly, when pet grief is connected to other losses, such as human bereavement, it may lead to compound grief where grief takes on a cumulative effect (Williams & Green, 2016).
Occurrence
Pet ownership is widespread globally, with many households identifying pets as family members. The peak of grief typically occurs within 2–6 months afterthe loss, though 20% of owners report ongoing grief a year later (Wrobel & Dye, 2003). Older adults, single individuals, and those who relied heavily on their pets for emotional support often report more intense grief (Field et al., 2009).
Why It’s Not Recognized
Pet grief is often placed on the outskirts of accepted grief because of cultural norms. Common invalidating phrases include “you can just get another pet” or “it was only an animal.” Workplaces rarely offer bereavement leave, and some pet types (like small animals or fish) are not taken as seriously. This invisibility increases isolation and shame (Doka, 2016).
Coping Options
Validation: Acknowledge the loss and talk openly about the pet.
Rituals & Memorialization** – Burial, cremation, planting a tree, or anniversary rituals help maintain continuing bonds.
Social Connection** – Online or in-person groups of pet owners provideempathy and reduce loneliness.
Self-Care** – Sleep, nutrition, and routine are crucial during grieving.
Complicated Grief** – Professional intervention is encouraged if grief becomes persistent, disabling, or linked to depression and anxiety.
How a Therapist Can Help
Therapists can play a vital role in helping individuals cope with pet bereavement, particularly when grief is disenfranchised. By providing a safe, nonjudgmental space, therapists validate the mourner’s experience and reduce feelings of isolation. Working together the client and therapist can help normalize the intensity of the grief response, explore the unique bond shared with the pet, and assist client in working through guilt, anger, or unresolved emotions surrounding the loss. Evidence-based approaches such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be used to address unhelpful thought patterns, while Narrative Therapy allows clients to reconstruct and honour their ongoing bond with the pet.
Therapists may also introduce rituals or creative activities to facilitate healthy grieving. For clients experiencing complicated or prolonged grief, therapists can provide structured support, screen for depression or anxiety, and connect individuals with additional resources and providers if needed. Therapy offers compassionate recognition of the individual’s grief and empowers them to integrate their loss into life in a way that honours both the pet and their ongoing wellbeing.
Summary
Grief is a complex emotion and bereavement likewise a complex process. When support services anticipate and identify this form of grief and its
potential severity they can respond in a more effective manner and provide what is needed to positively assist people to move through their
bereavement.
Further Reading
Cordaro, M. (2012). *Pet loss and disenfranchised grief: Implications for mental health counseling practice*. Journal of Mental Health Counseling, 34(4), 283–294. https://doi.org/10.17744/mehc.34.4.41q0248450t98072
Cleary, M., West, S., Thapa, D.K., Westman, M., Vesk, K., & Kornhaber, R. (2022). Grieving the loss of a pet: A qualitative systemic review. *Death
Studies, 46*(9), 2167-2178. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2021.1901799
Doka, K. J. (2016). *Disenfranchised grief: Recognizing hidden sorrow*. Routledge.
Field, N. P., Orsini, L., Gavish, R., & Packman, W. (2009). Role of attachment in response to pet loss. *Death Studies, 33*(4), 334–355.
https://doi.org/10.1080/07481180802705783Leonhardt-Parr, E., & Rumble, B. (2024). Coping with Animal Companion Loss: A Thematic Analysis of Pet Bereavement Counselling. *Omega, 89*(1),
362–378. https://doi.org/10.1177/00302228211073217Packman, W., Carmack, B. J., Katz, R., Carlos, F., Field, N. P., & Landers, C. (2014). Online Survey as Empathic Bridging for the Disenfranchised Grief
of Pet Loss. *OMEGA • Journal of Death and Dying, 69*(4), 333-356. https://doi.org/10.2190/OM.69.4.aWilliams, B., & Green, R. (2016). Experiences of bereavement following the death of animals. *Mental Health Practice, 19*(9), 29-33. https://doi.org/10.7748/mhp.19.9.29.s21
Wrobel, T. A., & Dye, A. L. (2003). Grieving Pet Death: Normative, Gender, and Attachment Issues. *OMEGA • Journal of Death and Dying, 47*(4), 385-393. https://doi.org/10.2190/QYV5-LLJ1-T043-U0F9
Written by Shari Glenn, RP (Qualifying)
